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6 Signs You Need to Set Boundaries


Part I of III

Are you controlling your life, or is your life controlling you?

If you’re feeling powerless over what is happening in your life, it may be time to set some boundaries to regain command of your path in this world.

The following are 6 Signs That You Need to Set Boundaries:

  1. You feel out of control.

  2. You're exhausted.

  3. You're not sure who you are anymore.

  4. You're consumed by and caught up in the drama around you.

  5. You feel lost in a relationship.

  6. You feel angry and resentful.

If you answered yes to any one or more of the above questions, it means some of your needs are not being met and it’s time to set boundaries.

Previously, I would have answered “yes” to all of the questions above. I used to change my personality to accommodate my partner and and those around me, I compromised constantly, I kept my mouth shut, I swallowed hurt feelings, I felt like everything happened “to” me, I wasn’t sure what I wanted anymore because it was easier to want what my partner wanted, and I was angry. Oh boy was I angry. And that’s not surprising, because when our needs aren't being met and we are consistently allowing our boundaries to be crossed, we are bound to develop anger and resentment and become exhausted.

Happily, there is a lot you can do to transform these feelings of powerlessness and become yourself again. Most of us don’t realize how much power we actually have to create what we want in our careers, relationships, finances, families, homes, health and states of mind. We have a huge amount of power and control, even if it doesn’t seem that way most of the time. But in order to access this power, we have to begin by getting back in touch with ourselves and figuring what we need and where our boundaries have fallen away.

What do YOU need?

  • More time for yourself?

  • To feel heard?

  • More time to spend on your hobbies?

  • To do less for others?

  • To work less?

  • Help from others?

When you figure out what it is you need, you will be able to use that information to set the appropriate boundaries. Be honest with your answers. It can be hard to face the truth, but until you do, nothing will change.

So to wrap up, your homework today is all about awareness:

  1. Decide if you need to do some boundary setting.

  2. Identify which of your needs are not being met.

In my next post, on Wednesday, I’ll talk about how to set boundaries. Stay tuned!

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