It’s that time of year again! Now that Christmas is over many of us are thinking about New Year’s resolutions. I’d like to offer an alternative this year: How about setting some goals rather than making resolutions?
The problem with resolutions is that they tend to be “shoulds,” or push goals
Let me take a moment to explain:
When you tell yourself that you “should” do something you are setting yourself up to fail because if you don't do the things that you decide you "should" do, then you end up feeling guilty for not doing them. To read more about “shoulds,” click HERE.
Push goals are goals that we set that we feel we need to accomplish but which we don’t feel excited about reaching. For many people push goals are things like exercising more or going to the gym, whereas a pull goal might be taking belly dancing lessons or going on a trip to Tahiti. You’re super excited about learning to dance and traveling, but you’re less than enthused about getting out of bed every morning to go to the gym.
As a coach, I encourage my clients to set pull goals, and avoid the push goals and the "shoulds", because the pull goals will be the ones that will help you create the life you really crave.
This year how about setting some pull goals rather than resolutions, "shoulds" or push goals?
Pull Goals – Step 1
The first step to setting pull goals is deciding on your intention for the New Year. Pick one word that describes what you want to create more of in your life. For example, my intention for 2016 is balance.
You can choose anything you like as an intention as long as it feels good to you. Here are some examples of intentions:
Pull Goals – Step 2
Next, decide how you want to feel in the coming year. What emotions do you want to be feeling on a regular basis? This is important because once you know how you want to feel, when you choose your goals you can check to make sure that they are going to lead you to those emotions. If we choose goals without considering how we will feel, once we achieve them they might not bring about the emotions we want to have.
Choose three to five desired emotions for 2016. Again, You can choose any feelings you want. I have chosen the following: creative, excited, successful, vulnerable and love.
Pull Goals – Step 3
The last piece when it comes to getting ready to set goals is discovering your personal core values. This is important because in order to get the feelings you want, your goals need to be aligned with your personal values. Click HERE for an exercise which will lead you to your personal core values.
Goal Setting: The Next Step
Now that you’ve chosen your intention and desired emotions for 2016, and you’ve identified your personal core values, you are ready to start setting pull goals! On Wednesday I’ll be posting on the final step of the “how to” of goal setting for 2016. So take a little time to contemplate what you would like to create in your life in the New Year, and I’ll see you back here in two days!