On Fridays I post about dating and relationships. And in a roundabout way, today's post is about dating. It's about your physical needs, and how to meet them when you are single.
Let's rewind a bit. Years ago, I used to go to a massage therapist who firmly believed that that touch is a basic human need. She said that if you were single and not in a physical relationship, it was important to make sure that you were experiencing skin-to-skin touch from another human being on a regular basis. At the time I sort of shrugged off her comment, but it stuck with me.
As I write this blog today, I have to agree with her. It can be really hard to go long periods of time without being touched by another person. Touch is healing. It conveys caring, connection and closeness. It expresses love. It also feels pretty damn good. Our bodies release endorphins when we receive pleasurable touch, whether sexual or not. Endorphins are our feel-good hormones that help reduce pain and elevate mood.
Not everybody likes to be touched, but unless you fall into that category, if you are single (or in a relationship where you are not experiencing much, if any, physical contact) you might find that receiving some form of touch is extremely helpful and life enhancing. This is especially important if you are single and living with chronic pain and illness. More often that not, so much of your time and energy is spent on just getting through the day, going to medical appointments and treatments, that there isn't any room left for dating or a relationship. But this doesn't decrease your need for physical contact. And no, getting a physical exam from a doctor doesn't count as touch.
What are some way to experience physical touch? Here are a few of my ideas, some involving skin-to-skin contact while others less so:
Get a massage from a massage therapist.
Ask a friend or family member for a back rub.
Go for foot and/or hand reflexology.
Book a Reiki or healing touch session.
Find a booty call if you’re looking for sexual touch. There’s nothing wrong with casual sex as long as you are emotionally okay with it and physically safe. If you experience negative emotional repercussions afterward such as feelings of shame, guilt, loneliness, or anger for example, then a booty call is not for you.
If you feel comfortable and are close with some good friends, have a cuddle session.
Hire professional cuddler. Many cities now have people who are offering such services. It’s above board from what I’ve read, and no sexy-business is allowed during these sessions.
Go to the spa and have a body scrub done. Not only will you receive touch, but you may also feel very invigorated afterwards.
If you have any other ideas please send them my way. I'd love to add to my list!
To wrap up, I think it's important not to downplay the importance of feeling a physical connection with another human being more than just once in a blue moon. There is no shame in needing to be touched. It is a healthy and vital part of life. Touch lifts us up emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. And who couldn't use more of that?