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We All Need a Little Help Sometimes

February 15, 2016

 

I feel really proud to have published a book. Finishing my book, Aches, Pains, and Love, was a huge accomplishment for me. Watching its release this week was exciting and fulfilling.

 

Over the past week, many people have been congratulating me on achieving this goal. And it feels wonderful. But it also makes me think of all the people who helped me along the way.

 

I could not have written and published Aches, Pains, and Love without the support and help of so many people. No way. Uh uh. Although I did do a large part of the work myself, it really was a collaborative effort. The following people have been invaluable to me throughout the process:

 

  • My editor

  • My proofreader

  • My book designer

  • The writers and published authors who wrote endorsement blurbs for my book based on the advance reading copies

  • My publisher’s project manager, who was incredibly patient with me during my first foray into publishing

  • My audio specialist who recorded the audiobook with me

  • My family doctor

  • My internist, who not only takes care of me, but also wrote the foreword for the book

  • My physiotherapist, whose weekly craniosacral sessions keep my body working, so that I can keep sitting down and doing the work

  • My counsellor who keeps me sane

  • My acupuncturist. I usually see her when I have a flare up, and she always seems to manage to get me sorted out again

  • My mentors

  • My closest and best friends, some of whom also proofread the book for me

 

Many of these people offered their support freely, and others I asked for their help. At first I was hesitant and unsure of asking for assistance without immediately offering anything in return, but I didn’t have anything to lose. So I asked and invited others to respond with a “yes” or a “no,” not taking their responses personally. After all, while the book was a project close to my heart, it was ultimately a business endeavour.

 

What am I getting at here? The message I want to share is that many, if not most people respond positively when you ask for help. I hear a lot of my clients say that they want to achieve big things, but they want and need to achieve them on their own. I don’t know of anyone who has ever achieved something big, remarkable or momentous on their own. Everyone’s got a backup, a team in their corner, a support system. Whether it's a gold medal winner at the Olympics, the President of the United States or a Nobel Prize winner, they all did the work to get to where they got, but they weren’t alone. They all had help and support, whether it was a coach, a political advisor, a lab assistant, family or friends.

 

 

If you want to achieve bit things, and don’t want help, I urge you to reconsider. Think about what sort of support team would best serve you in reaching your goals, and then assemble that team. Maybe some of them are already in place, and some you still need to find. Just know that you are more likely to succeed with a little help (or a lot), and there is nothing wrong with that.

 

To find out more about Aches, Pains, and Love: A Guide to Dating and Relationships for Those With Chronic Pain and Illness, click HERE.