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ACHES, PAINS, AND LOVE: A Guide to Dating and Relationships for Those with Chronic Pain and Illness


Aches, Pains, and Love | Kira Lynne | Book


Are you living with chronic pain or illness, or both? Have you given up on having an intimate, romantic relationship? Living with such conditions can feel overwhelming, never mind adding intimacy into the mix. Surprisingly, very little has been published on dating and relationships for people with chronic pain and illness. Aches, Pains, and Love addresses that need with wisdom, compassion, and humour.


This book is about hope. You can have lasting love and companionship in an intimate relationship when you live with chronic pain and illness. Both entertaining and practical, Aches, Pains, and Love provides a step-by-step guide to getting the love you want, regardless of your physical condition. I offer a host of real-life stories, frank practical observations, and specific tools that will help you decide what you really desire in a loving relationship and guide you towards achieving that happiness.



Goodreads | Aches, Pains, and Love | Kira Lynne



I highly recommend this excellent book. Aches, Pains, and Love is chock-full of candid and down-to-earth advice, all of it liberally spiced with wisdom coming from the author’s many years of experience living with chronic pain and illness. I particularly appreciated the crucial distinction she makes between a partner being educated about your condition (a necessity) and your partner being able to actually feel what life is like for you (highly unlikely). The good news is that the latter isn’t necessary in order for a relationship to thrive, so long as respect and compassion are present. I hope that everyone who is chronically ill and is either in a relationship or hopes to be in one will read this book.


 —Toni Bernhard, author of How to Be Sick and How to Live Well with Chronic Pain and Illness




Clear your calendar because once you start this book you will want to read it from cover to cover! At turns laugh-out-loud funny and poignant, Kira Lynne teaches you how to be your best self so you can have the relationship you deserve. She makes clear that self-improvement is a choice; choose this book and you won’t be disappointed.


- Susan Milstrey Wells, author of A Delicate Balance: Living Successfully With Chronic Illness





Kira Lynne candidly shares her experience of what she has learned through dating and marriage while suffering from a chronic illness. Communication is key and this book delivers insight and communication tactics to educate the reader on how to best build open loving relationships. Kira’s witty style makes this an easy to read. This may be the most thorough book on dating and chronic illness ever written and I wish it was available when I was navigating the dating circles. Bravo!


- Lori Hartwell, author of Chronically Happy: Joyful Living in Spite of Chronic Illness




Brilliant and long overdue.  A must read for anyone living with pain or chronic illness and for those that love them.  Bringing refreshing insights from her own personal experience Kira Lynne guides you step by step on a path to meaningful, loving, happy and healthy relationships, starting with yourself.


- Denise Stroude, RPC, MPCC, Vice President Rhodes Wellness College




Kira Lynne invites the reader to share her journey through decades of Aches, Pains and Love with a degree of unvarnished frankness rarely seen in non-fiction. She utilizes her often painful experiences to formulate a practical, useful guide for any reader who lives with chronic illness and pain. The topic is sensitive, but Kira lays out a welcome mat for readers to join her and step through the door to a healthier life and better relationships. Beyond the central topic of managing relationships while ill, Kira shares a path to a fuller and more meaningful life with illness, whether one is in a romantic relationship or not. I highly recommend this guide to dating and relationships for those with chronic pain and illness.  


- Joy H. Selak PhD




Kudos to Kira Lynne for her efforts to help herself and so my others in dealing with chronic, often debilitating pain and illness.  With a wisdom few of us can muster, she brings hope to these conditions, a genuine hope for loving and nurturing relationships.


- Paul Steinberg, M.D., author of A Salamander's Tale





Kira has written an accessible, humorous, moving and honest account of the very real impact chronic health conditions can have on romantic life. Packed full of useful tips learned through her own experience as well as wise counsel, this book is a valuable resource for anyone seeking a relationship whilst living with a chronic health condition of any kind. I could have saved myself a lot of heart-ache if this book had been available many years ago when I was a young woman first living with a spinal injury - daunted and shy about how to find intimacy and love through a sexual relationship. Intimacy and chronic health conditions is an area that is rarely discussed or written about which makes this book all the more important.


- Vidyamala Burch, author of Living Well with Pain and Illness: The Mindful Way to Free Yourself from Suffering and co-author of You Are Not Your Pain and Mindfulness for Women. Co-founder of Breathworks




A comforting and helpful guide to navigating relationships while dealing with chronic pain. Kira Lynne walks you through a healing and hope-filled process to create safe and loving relationships!


- Abigail Steidley, Mind-Body Coach




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